Jesse's Girl
by bouquineuse
Summary: Rachel is not the girl she once was, and Jesse is moving on.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N My frustration with Rachel's choices in season 2 and 3 have finally reached the point where I even dream about it. I woke up in the middle of the night and jotted this story down. I'm beginning to think that Pod-person Rachel just isn't worth Jesse's time. I hope her Dads use reverse psychology on Rachel to make her see some sense. But ideally I'd like Jesse to be the one to get through to her, and hence this story. Does he reach her? I'll leave that up to you to decide.  
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**JESSE'S GIRL**

Rachel was exhausted. Who knew looking at wedding dresses and lingerie could be so tiring? It was too bad Kurt and Mercedes had to cancel out at the last moment and so they'd been unable to accompany her. That flu bug had certainly hit them both very quickly. Still, Rachel consoled herself, they could come back next weekend with her and she'd show them her favorite five and they'd help her make the final choice.

After placing her order for a soya latte, Rachel turned her attention to the people around her. People watching was always fun, she liked to create stories about them. It was then that she saw HIM, right in the line next to hers. "Jesse, what are you doing here?" As the words escaped from her mouth she mentally kicked herself. Why did she always find herself saying that to him?

He turned towards her, his gaze raking her from head to toe in a calm deliberate manner before he replied "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"

Rachel gaped at him in bewilderment. "Don't be silly, of course you know me! It's me, Rachel."

"Rachel?" Jesse frowned and stared at her again as if trying to recollect where he'd seen her before.

It was beginning to freak Rachel out. She looked at him closely. No, she hadn't made a mistake. It was definitely Jesse not some doppelganger. His hair was shorter then when she'd last seen him in New York but the rebellious curls were still trying to free themselves. As usual he was dressed all in black and wearing his favorite black leather jacket-the one he used to drape around her shoulders when she showed the least sign of being chilly. For a moment the memory of the smell of the leather combined with Jesse's scent rose to the surface of her mind and a wave of longing hit her. She forced herself to dismiss it. She was Rachel Berry, soon to be Rachel Hudson, no longer was she Jesse's girl.

But just what was wrong with Jesse? Had he had an accident and lost his memory? She collected her latte then moved closer to Jesse and asked hesitantly, "Did something happen to your memory? I'm Rachel. Rachel Berry. We used to date and we went to my junior prom last year with Sam and Mercedes. Then you helped our show choir prepare for Nationals."

"Yes, I knew a Rachel Berry." Jesse said, his melodic voice threaded with sadness. "The Rachel Berry I knew and fell in love with was smart and talented and beautiful. She was driven by her dreams and goals; she knew exactly what she wanted out of life and how to obtain it. But then she disappeared."

"Don't be silly! I didn't disappear! I'm right here, Jesse!" Rachel reached out and placed her hand on the sleeve of his jacket.

Jesse coolly surveyed her for a moment before replying. "I admit you resemble her, but no, you aren't Rachel." At that his voice changed and angry disdain flared in his blue eyes. "You see the Rachel I knew wouldn't have applied to only one Performing Arts College. She would have had applications completed and mailed out months ago to at least five. She wouldn't have jeopardized her school record by doing something as silly as over stuffing ballot boxes, nor would she have allowed herself to be so sidetracked by other people's dreams as to end up in the audience at Sectionals instead of performing center stage where she belonged. She wouldn't have let adolescent emotions so overrule her intelligence that she'd agree to marry before she had at least one starring role on Broadway if not a Tony. And she certainly wouldn't, at the age of seventeen, agree to attach herself for life to someone who has no future plans, no money, and who needs his self-esteem constantly propped up to the detriment of her own.

The Rachel I knew would be practicing every spare moment for choir competition! She'd be making lists of everything needed to win Nationals and for a move to New York after graduating. She'd be honing her talent until it was as polished and deadly as sharp gleaming dagger." The anger and disdain in his voice suddenly disappeared as quickly as it had come and when he spoke again it was with regret. "So you see, you cannot possibly be the Rachel I admired and fell in love with. That Rachel is gone and it's an immense tragedy, because that Rachel really could have had it all." At that Jesse calmly removed her hand from his sleeve and picking up the tray of coffees that had just appeared before him, turned without another word and walked away.

Numb with shock at his words, Rachel watched as Jesse made his way over to a table by the window. He sat down and placed his arm in casual familiarity around the dark haired girl seated next to him. A girl that, Rachel realized, looked all too familiar. One who was very talented and ambitious. A girl named Harmony. Rachel stood in quiet misery for a few minutes, eyes brimming with tears but unable to wrench her gaze away from the two of them, as she remembered what it had been like to be Jesse's girl. Slowly she turned and made her way to the door. She glanced back one last time before going out into the street, but Jesse never looked up at her, not even once, why would he? His Rachel no longer existed.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I really liked this story as an angsty one-shot, but I've had this idea in the back of my mind for some months and I** decided to add an optional (more hopeful) chapter to it for the _July St. Berry Week prompt 4: AU._ (Wi**th what happened in the latter part of Glee season 3, this is obviously AU now).**  
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****If you liked the angsty ending as it stands, don't read any further. If you want a more positive upbeat ending, here it is.**  
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Jesse's Girl (alternative ending).

Finally, after waiting for what felt like an eternity, Jesse turned towards his friend Mark who was seated at a nearby table, and asked in an undertone, "Has she left yet?"

"Yes." Mark picked up his latte and moved over to join Jesse and Harmony before continuing. "She watched you sit down and then left a few minutes later. But she did pause for a moment at the door and look back again. I would say whatever you said to her really hit her hard, she seemed pretty sad and dejected. "

Jesse sighed heavily and, after removing his arm from around Harmony, stared gloomily at the door through which Rachel had departed. "That was one of the hardest roles I've ever had to play. Kurt's idea better have worked or I just blew any chance of Rachel ever speaking to me, let alone dating me again."

"Well, if she marries that dumbbell of a boyfriend, she's a lost cause anyways. What did you have to lose?" Harmony, his always practical cousin, pointed out.

"I know, I know! And things were really desperate if Hummel decided to ask for my assistance. In any case I'd rather ruin my chances with her than just say nothing and sit idly by while she throws her life and future away by handcuffing herself to Hudson. He's a guy who will never truly understand nor appreciate her. In fact the only time he seems to pay real attention to her is if another guy shows her any interest. Mostly, I think he keeps her around as his personal cheerleader/ego booster." Glumly Jesse picked up his espresso and took a lengthy sip before turning his attention back to Mark and Harmony. "I really appreciate your helping me with this plan."

"Whatever. You're just lucky I'm not in competition with 'your Rachel' for Nationals or a spot at NYADA, because I'd have sat this one out if I had been. When it comes to performing competitively I'm not about to help my direct competition, even for my favorite cousin." Harmony said with a smirk as she stood up and grabbed her jacket and messenger bag. "Well, it's been fun. I'll see you around my dear coz."

"It's been a treat as usual, brat." Jesse replied affectionately. It really was a shame that Harmony lived in the wrong region to compete for Vocal Adrenaline. She was extremely talented, plus cut -throated when required. Jesse reined in his wandering thoughts. He'd worry about VA's chances at Nationals later, right now he'd better text Hummel with an update on ODR (Operation Deprogram Rachel.)

)))))))

Rachel arrived home having not remembered anything of her return journey, which was quite worrisome as she always prided herself on being an observant and careful driver. During the entire drive, however, her mind had been a whirling maelstrom with Jesse's words on endless repeat.

She unlocked the front door and entered the silent house. The latte seemed to have settled like a lead weight in the pit of her stomach and so she bypassed the kitchen and headed straight for her room. Flinging her jacket and bag onto her bed, Rachel went over to her mirror and stared at herself critically. Was Jesse right? Had she lost herself in her quest to win Finn? As much as she hated to admit it, she had lost her focus. She'd turned most of her energies into regaining Finn as a boyfriend and then in making him happy. It was also true that she'd been distracted enough that she'd neglected to apply to any other colleges other than NYADA, which was most definitely something she regretted. It was a huge mistake and one she would never have made a year ago.

Slowly she reached out and picked up the framed photo of herself and Finn. Agreeing to marry Finn had been a hurried decision. With her secret fear of not getting into NYADA growing rapidly in her over active mind she hadn't been thinking straight; ever since she'd said yes, things just seemed to be snowballing out of control. Still, it would be okay, wouldn't it? She loved Finn, he loved her.

Rachel put the photo back, and flopped down on her bed. Grabbing her care bear she wrapped her arms around it tightly and rested her chin on its soft head. But the truth was she hadn't wanted to get married so soon. Finn had pressured her and, in a moment of weakness mixed with pity and fear, she'd caved in. But what if after they married he decided she should postpone all her dreams, and that they shouldn't go to New York? Impossible! He knew that she was going to New York right after graduating! Heaven knows she'd told him often enough. Rachel frowned. But what was **he** going to **do** in New York? Finn was always so vague about his plans for the future. Actually, he didn't have plans at all. He found it hard to think about what to do next week let alone next month or next year so he generally let her make most of their plans and decisions. Was that what she wanted - to forever have to plan both her life and his? It wasn't how she envisioned a marriage to be.

Finally, exhausted by her thoughts, Rachel dozed off and fell into a series of fitful dreams.

She had just told Finn that she'd shelve her dreams of going to New York in preference to his (even though he still had no clue what his dreams were or how to achieve them), and was now spinelessly telling him "what if your dreams are bigger than mine" when she awoke in a cold sweat. Rachel sat bolt upright. NEVER! That was not who she was. Rachel Barbra Berry would never agree to that! She was a star and one day soon she was going to shine so bright on stage that the sun would cry with envy.

Jesse's words had cracked open the blinds in her mind and let in a shaft of the light of reality. How would she become a butterfly if she didn't emerge on time and according to plan? How would she ever spread her wings and soar into the sunlight if she continued to hide in her cocoon of romantic fantasy?

Rachel raised her left hand and stared at the ring on her finger. For days now she had tried to ignore the growing sense of unease by throwing herself into wedding planning and looking at wedding dresses, but it just wasn't working. Every day her engagement ring felt heavier and heavier, and truthfully, so did her heart.

As much as it would hurt it was only fair to both their futures that she call off the wedding and their engagement. It was too soon for such a big step. They were both too young and totally unprepared for such a major life altering decision. If their love was meant to be they could wait until the time was right. Rachel reached for her phone and immediately sent a text to Finn telling him they needed to have a face to face talk asap.

As she waited for his reply she started making a To-Do List. Right now what was important was: Finn making some real plans for his future, while as for herself, she needed to concentrate on practicing like mad for Nationals and for her NYADA audition. Rachel gazed at the line she had just written. She had intended to reprise her "Don't Rain on My Parade" for her audition piece since she knew it so well, but perhaps she needed something more risky? No one ever got anywhere without taking risks. Decisively, she crossed the song off her list.

Rachel chewed on her lower lip nervously while debating the wisdom of surrendering to her next impulse. There was one person whose opinion she knew she could trust on giving her good advice for her NYADA audition. Someone (who for reasons which she didn't want to examine too closely just yet) that she wanted to inform of her new resolve and plans. It was suddenly imperative that Jesse know that she was not getting married after all, but instead she was going to go to New York to pursue her dreams as soon as she graduated. Determinedly she picked up her phone and quickly sent another text. The Rachel Barbra Berry he knew was back and she would be a star, sooner rather than later!


End file.
